So this Thomas Kinkade dude, the “painter of light” who creates the gaudiest paintings of cottages covered in pixie dust in gumdrop forests… boy is he creepy looking:

Don’t let that paintbrush he’s holding fool you. I think he actually paints his fru fru fantasy lands with that ’stache.

Update: Vorderman Volkswagen sent us a check for $116 and offered apologies for taking so long in coming to a resolution for the problem. I’m satisfied with the final resolution, although I’m disappointed that it took a BBB complaint to get to this point.
I’m not going to lie; I’m a pretty picky consumer. For example, [...]